Those little secrets, they were meant to be unspoken. But how long can we keep before it's too late?

Those little secrets, they were meant to be unspoken. But how long can we keep before it's too late?

I had my French class today! I'm so exuberant, it's the only class that I felt like going 'cause learning there just seem so less stressful from those core modules I'm taking. This semester seem to just pass so quickly since week 2 of school is ending real soon, and that means the nearing of the project deadlines. I don't know if all of these are going to make sense in the near future. I've been thinking if I've chosen the wrong course to major in, but I find no reasons to. Perhaps I need more confidence to see my purpose in studying so hard so that someday I can make it huge from a small fry.

Tutors never fail to track our progress in academics and CCAs. With that, they have more reason to push us further. What else can we do? Is not like I don't want those scholarships and merits awards, I'm a award incline person, but I really don't wish to own a CCA and meaning that I've got no chance of getting those things mentioned earlier. Whatever right? But think about the money saved when you have all the scholarships, it thousands and thousands of dollars, after money are never easily earned. It's earn with every sweat and blood. Speaking of that, I don't know if I should be taking up a part time job, something not relating to sales, I don't mind doing admin work. Somehow people around me have no confidence in me of getting a job, which further add on to the low confidence of mine to get a job. Hell! There's so many things to think through at the moment. Why can't the brain shut things out involuntary?

Will there ever be The One for me? I seriously doubt it. Life been so mundane with school and homework as compare to many who really live their life to the fullest, I felt like I'm wasting mine. Agree? Perhaps it take an event, or a sickness or a death to fully find the meaning of life. But there's always hiccups, as we are made to be this way, this way that we tend to hold on to everything so dearly for fear of giving up will regret and lose it for good. I thought it through once, I was thinking about leaving all the things here and lead a new life in another country when I'm older, then I reflect and asked myself that will I be able to leave my family,friends, and everything that I can have here for total fresh start. It's hard, cause we make a habit such that changes cause us to fear and back-out and back to where we started or rather back into our comfort zone again.

Many things you see are superficial. You seriously don't know what's going on deep down under what you see apart from the appearance. People tend to get things to their advantage so as to get reap benefits and be glad about it. Sometimes people can be so superficial yet convincing enough to fool you, for you take the plunge and realise you fall so hard that you learn not to trust again. I felt it, and regretting taking the plunge and appear as a clown for the rest. How stupid can one be? There's always exception, but how long such exception will last? Days? Months? Years?

"Someday I'll love, for someday I'll die with regrets for not loving you."
Au revoir.
Loved and take care.